If You Can’t Join Them – THEN DON’T!

myself1-1(As I was writing this, my good friend asked…..am I mentioned in this blog, and I replied…..if you feel some type away after reading it, wear the shoe well. LOL!!!!!)

Here we go…………………………………………..

I have been away from blogging for a good minute, and when I did blog, it was used for therapy for my soul to help me stay present and not on some ego BS. It is what I teach as a healing tool for my clients that seek me to be their Sistah-Girl through my life coaching platform. It is FREE WRITING, and should not be judged by grammar, word of choice, spelling, or punctuation. It simply allows you to dump with a purpose of walking away, and gaining  your own clarity. It is simply a reflection on what has been festering in your spirit for some time. So, I needed to swallow my own pill today and just write to dump and move forward.

Let’s begin…………………………………………….
Re-read my title – If You Can’t Join Them – THEN DON’T! But, I really want to say –If you can’t join them, FUCK THEM! I believe the universal phrase is “If you can’t beat them, join them,” but this is a load of crap! Why do we have to force ourselves to join them when they are not welcoming you to join. This is why we open ourselves up to be mistreated, and this is why we lose our identities in these types of groups.  WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT LAKENDRA? Well, I have tried to be open and join them, but I refuse to dummy my personality down, my intelligence down, and my originality down to remain apart. Yes, I am on the empowerment and spiritual movement, but I am still LaKendra……Simply LaKendra. My gifts are truly my gifts which is why my success is my success. I am where I am today because of my authentic self. My originality, my charisma, my co12742642_10154576539197571_7110183566035377507_nmpassion, and my heart. Why does everyone in the group look the same, speak the same, and have the same mannerisms WHICH IS FAKE, but away from the group THEY ARE DIFFERENT. They are actually human and not robots anymore. So, when I say to you that I do not want to do business with you…….THEY get MAD AT ME. Don’t be mad at me for not falling for your MASK. I couldn’t really see you because your behavior looked like everyone else’s. I have to deal with real people because I deal with real issues of our communities. My parents, clients, and girls go through real life shit, and they need people that are REAL about them and their success in healing and and being better people. Therefore, I have to bring in REAL people and dismiss the FAKE ONES REAL fast when they finally show themselves.
So, again…….I have decided NOT TO JOIN THEM. WHY? Because you want me to be like you, and I don’t know how to be. I don’t know how to have you tell me that I can’t talk to someone because they are not in the click. I don’t know how not to be a sister to another woman who is trying imagesto get help the best way that she can. I don’t know how to talk about a person behind their back, and then smile in their faces. I don’t know how to tell someone that I am going to do something for them, and not execute it OR EVEN communicate to them that there has been a change in plans. I don’t know how to be cordial and friendly one day, and see you at a different event and NOT SPEAK the next day. ALL OF THIS IS SOME FAKE SHIT!  But, you see me out, looking cute, and having drinks with my REAL friends and get mad because I am having fun and not joining the group – WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THIS. We were there first! You should have walked up to us and just followed suit on some happy shit because all of my friends are like me….HAPPY!
Which now you get in your mean girl spirit and try to bash my character, but you are not successful and YOU’RE MAD!!!  It is not a secret that I like to have a good time…..LIKE…… A REAL GOOD TIME!!! I use profanity and sometimes I can add 3 and 4 BAD words together to show that it wasn’t a fluke that I said what I said. I laugh loud, I dance to R&B and RAP, and may can rap them better than a rapper. I attend a white church because I like to get out early on Sunday, and I LOVE THE PASTOR – LOL!  I hang out with my girlfriends even though I am MARRIED. WHAT!!!  I am married, but I don’t hang under my husband as if he’s some sort of prisoner because WE trust each other, and if WE have issues, you would NEVER know because GROWN WOMEN keep their personal lives PERSONAL and just because I don’t want to share with you don’t mean that I am not REAL about my shit. However, I am about my business ALL the time, and when I need to be professional, and mindful about where I am I am totally present in that space.  That’s when I really use my intelligence and only when. LOfc26cf041b04f872e11d8b7927c3f3a6L! Okay, that was a joke. See…I have a sense of humor even when you see me all dressed up in a tailored made outfit from head-to-toe. I like nice things, and my appearance is part of being SIMPLY at my best, so WHY do you judge me for being SIMPLY……? When is it NOT OKAY to feel beautiful, sexy, and smart?  Why do these groups judge MOST women that are confident….IT KILLS ME!!! So, when you talk about me to people that has worked with me and know me, and they look puzzled about your identity of me, it’s because they have now identified you as a FRAUD and they CHECKED your ass and YOU’RE MAD. But, HAYYY!  I do have other haters out there….FEW…but they exist.  Go find them and be miserable together:-)

Okay, enough about those people…you get what I am trying to say. But, I will say that if you keep being unAUTHENTIC about who God designed and created you to be, YOU will always be miserable, and lonely. There will always be a sense of emptiness even when you appear to have everything. Because when you go home, you have to face that beautiful and full of life person that YOU REALLY ARE. unapologetically-Black-2The person that will fit into any group if only YOU LOVED yourself BETTER. The person that would be okay if they didn’t fit in because they would just create their own reality. Life wasn’t designed for us to fit under someone one else’s coattail. Just look at yourself and them. Your social media pages look the same, your verbiage is the same, and why YOU are getting MAD, THEY are getting RICH – LOL!!! All of these GROUP MASTERS are getting RICH!!!!  You are at all of the same events, but you are not GROWING – at least not at the rate you should be, but they are because you have LOST YOUR POWER!!!! But, you are working your ass off for them, and when I come to explore your group, and see the foolery – I am talked about when I freely leave. LOL! However, I learned that a mentor is not for me to use as a reflection of myself, but for me to take what WORKS FOR ME and gather some tools to be SELF-EFFICIENT and not CO-DEPENDENT so that I can remain my own original. You are not a copy, so please stop trying to make me one. So, who is really holding you back?
The next paragraph is RATED R!

Now, this next section is a very touchy message for me because I am SICK and tired of FAKE ASS – WANNA B’s. Here it is. Don’t fuck with me if you ARE NOT ON SOME REAL BUSINESS shit, genuine shit, and authentic about what you do type of shit – because I am going to start calling you out.  Everyone before this blog purge, gets a pass, but after this post- I AM CALLING YOUR ASSES straight OUT! Don’t ask me to come volunteer at one of my events because you are all for the cause and mission, but you are really on some hoe-shit and bithassness! OOOOOOhhhhhhh, is that too potty mouth for you, then you MUST stop reading RIGHT NOW! This is what I call my GROWN ASS woman language. Don’t give me a discount and then say, I am tired of people not paying me my worth, and people always asking for a hand-out— WHEN CLEARLY if you didn’t want to do it you should have just said NO plus your dumb ass offered the discount trying fit in my circle!  Don’t offer to do some shit for me, and then turn around because you feel as if 17b14de72ee5e980273047c6e43ef97ayou weren’t mentioned enough and then turn around and talk about it behind my back WHEN CLEARLY I flooded allllllllllllllllll of my timelines and Social Media outlets with your shit like it was YOUR PAGE. Real people for a cause NEVER look for a back-end HAND OUT!  THEN……Don’t come HALF-ASSing your SERVICES that you offered to do for FREE, and turn around and bash my character because YOUR intentions were bad to begin with….WHEN CLEARLY I asked your ass on NUMEROUS of times if I needed to compensate you for your services and you were on some hoe-shit talking about OH NO…I AM FOR THE CAUSE!!!!! Your FREE services is STILL met with same standard as if I paid you, so I can’t give you an A-1 review for F- services which made ME look bad and not you. So, what the “F” are you talking about?  Don’t call me talking about God this and God that because YOU HOLY-ROLLY folks are the WORSE to work with, and I am politely hanging up on your asses when you call with that shit. Don’t call me talking about a post that I have put on FB because you were offended that I used profanity, or my picture was too sexy and then question my authentic purpose of being a youth advocate or for woman empowerment WHEN CLEARLY your skeletons can’t even fit into YOUR closet so you asked if I could put some in mine…YEA, I got room in my damn closet. WHO IN THE HELL ARE YOU?  LOL!!! I am unbothered for one because this situation was last year, but you are still on my social media outlets THIS DAMN YEAR still talking – I AM CONFUSED. So, I am telling all of you motivational speakers, God told me people, chefs, designers, event planners, marketing specialist, photographers, volunteers, stylist, make-up artist, all of the above artist, and people trying to connect with me………I AM NOT ABOUT THAT HOE SHIT LIFE! Be about your PROFESSIONAL business, or don’t even contact me EVErrrrrrr on any type of foolery because I am going to EXPOSE you on your FOOLERY!  (Just think about it)

Back to normal….Can the motivational and keep it real LaKendra come back in on a different tone….Okay….Here I am (Smooches)

901f9d93702b7b1920f550e9de5caaaaOkay, I am free from all of that now, and it is time to move on. If you are in business for yourself, JUST BE YOURSELF. I have so many people that I look up to and they run successful businesses and they are LOVING and WONDERFUL people to know. They are low-key but they are successful, and they try to help anyone that they can. I am the same way because I have been groomed by them – THE BEST. I have been in business for myself over 10 years, and I don’t need any NEW-new, but I try to help everyone even when I am coming up short. I have photographers, chefs, seamstress, make-up artists, choreographers, trainers, djs,ect that I have built relationships with. And, this is my problem….I have broken away from MY CIRCLE, and I have learned some valuable lessons along the way.  Entrepreneurs, we have to BUILD RELATIONSHIPS with other professionals in order for us to have a certain level of success and peace of mind. Really, in order to protect our legacy which consist of our integrity. THE WORLD IS EVIL and we look to destroy each other. The world has been designed this way by man. The world is no longer a Godly world, it is a man-made world, and God is even fighting hard to keep His legacy of LOVE and COMPASSION and PROSPERITY in order. But, we have to keep as much power as we can. It is OKAY to be TRANSPARENT about your struggles.  Trust me, I am going to get a shit load of messages from folks that live in a box talking about GIRL…don’t let them steal your joy and all of that shit when CLEARLY there is no joy lost. I am a happy woman and I am a free woman but I got caught up in some bitchassness mess and I have to FREE myself from it. This is my TRUTH and I am unapologetic how I choose to express my GROWN A** self (see, I know when to let loose ). When you get tired of phony ass people being amongst you, you have to call their asses out – IT IS YOUR RIGHT AND IT IS MY RIGHT. I have been nice enough to let them damn near suck the energy out of me, but I need to release their energies and TAKE BACK MY POWER because what I do is from my heart. It is truly God’s work and my faith in him to keep my sanity intact, but sometimes it requires my own fighting because He has bigger fish to fry, which means that you have to learn to fight. I am not going to expose my businesses at the expense of changing WHO I AM. I am UNBOTHERED about what anyone thinks about this post. DELETE ME, DON’T DO BUSINESS WITH ME, and DON’T SPEAK TO ME ON THE STREET. IT IS MY POST, plus after a couple of days, it will be lost in translation. I will be the only one who remembers it;-)


But, I am serious about you BUSTERS out there….You have been warned!




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